My Archives: March 2007

[Monday, March, 19^th 2007 @ 02:37 am. ]

Its your favorite Rican nigga here. Lets see, this week was …ok I guess. I left off I guess on Sunday of last week.

School Shit I had class on Monday. Script Writing. It was cool. I left class like in 45 mins. We had a midterm which I didn’t even know we had, or studied for. Bad right? Well actually know. We just had to write a script and mines was really good. I had some real good ideas, and I know sure I did a good job. I am hoping for a B+. Thursday, I had my History class. I like that class actually, even though I hate history. We had our midterm last week, but we didn’t get our grades back. I had to do a book report, and I so hate to read. Wish me luck on that. Then Friday was blah. I missed my Cinematic class. It snowed here and my aunt called me saying there was no school. So I went back to bed. Comes to find out there was class from 8-12 and classes after 12 were canceled. My class was at 9:10, so I missed it which is NOT GOOD. If I miss that class again I am so going to cry and slit my wrist. *sad face* If I miss one more class she will fail me. And I wont graduate AGAIN. *sad face* *sigh* I got spring brake now, for da week. Hope its a little fun. maybe get a cuddle? I doubt it but, its always good to hope.



Other Shit. I crashed at Rose’s casa for a few days. She was dealing with some crazy shit and wanted me to stay with her. It was cool. I had fun even though I didn’t take a shower in like 2 days, haha. We went out to star bucks and ate out a lot. Me and her be acting up in public, a little bit more me. She was there to take da pictures. I was being extra gay, and extra goofy. It was fun though. I love making my friends laugh and joking around.

Damn. I suddenly feel down. *sad face* I wanted to talk about some corny shit Ronny did, and talk about Farra and how the rest of the week went with him, talk about some family drama, and some other shit on my mind. But. Not in the mood. Something just came to my attention, that just makes me want to cry. Sometimes you think you’re over something or someone, and all you have to do is see the person’s name, and all the emotions just race back into me. *sad face* Been a long ass time. And it still hurts. Crazy. I am going to bed. *sniffles*

Posted by drb @ 02:39 AM CST [Link]

[Saturday, March, 10^th 2007 @ 04:00 am. ]
Ggrr my life a whole Greek Tragedy Event I swear. I feel like Bull Shit always happens and I never get to have no real pure long-term happiness in any form. Like, “what the blood.” Lets see where to begin. Well I left off around Thursday of last week I guess it’s a good time to being the blog entry.

Thursday, I got dressed and ready in shit because I had class at 5. I thought I had an exam, so I left a lil earlier so I could study and shit. I get to school and go to the computer lab so I could print out my study sheet. I walked over to the COM Office because I had to pick up a paper my teacher left me so I could edit it and turn it in the next day. I go to the office and it was bloody closed. *sighs* I go around the side to the other door and knock. Guess who comes? My old teacher, Professor Jos, who I can not stand because he is a racist arrogant asshole, comes from his office. I back up so he can open the door. I wait. And look back at the door window, and the mother fucker left and didn’t even open the door for me. Like, “what the fuck.” I go to class at 4 so I could study some more. I am sitting in class just chillin. It’s a big ass lecture hall classroom and I am the only one in there. It’s an hour early so it’s cool right? Um no. 30 minutes go by and no other students arrive yet. 15 more mins go by and no one. Its damn 5 mins before class and I am like “what do all the students know that I know” I look at my syllabus and comes to find out, my damn class was canceled. It pissed me off even more because I been knew it was going to be canceled but my slow ass just forgot. I was so mad. So I leave and make my way to Rose’s crib because I was going to crash for the night. I take out my phone, and the bloody screen broke. It was all black. I could not see no calls, no texts nada. Sucked even more because I do not know no one’s number by heart so I could not call anyone. My Life! *sighs* So when I get to Rose’s crib I call Cingular and for what was that. This dude I talked to gave me a deal to get a whole new phone since I was available for an upgrade. (gonna skip a lot of details because this Cingular event is like a 4 page letter) He ended up transferring to someone, who transferred me to someone, who messed up the whole process, who transferred me to another chick, who transferred me to some slow ass dude Ruben Reed, who I hung up on. I called back some chick transferred me to some other dude who transferred me to an office that was not even open. 3 hour process, for nothing. I was so pissed off.

Friday comes along. I get up mad early so I could go to school early enough to go back to the COM Office so I could get that damn paper. I go outside and it is raining like Hurricane Fuckin Katrina. I have no umbrella. I get soaked and wet waiting for the bus. I get on the B4 Bus. We are driving and its all good right? NO! The fuckin bus keeps driving pass the usual turn to get to my school. So I sit thinking maybe there was a slight difference in the route. Slight wrong, Difference RIGHT. The bus drove all da way to west bumble fuck. I asked the bus driver did the bus go to SCSU, he said “not no more, it use to, they changed the route.” I am like, “what the blood.” So the bus went back around and I got off the closet to my school (which is far). I had to walk blocks in the fuckin poring rain to get to school. I was so wet there was water in my timbs, there was water dripping down my legs. I was completely soaked. I was so pissed, I wanted to just turn around and go back home, but I couldn’t because I would have failed the class. SO I keep walking and keep getting wetter. I had to go to the bookstore and buy a pair of pants so when I got to the class I could go to the bathroom and changed. After class, there was a huge fucking puddle under and around my desk. A Whole Greek Tragedy. I make my way back home. A two hour fucking commute. 3 buses and a fuckin train. I get home and call Cingular back. For what was that, them fucking Cingular raising the bar bitches, had me so damn mad. The was pushing me back and forth to different people, they was all telling me different stuff, they would put me on hold and transfer me to someone else with out even telling me. I started yelling and cursing, I was so damn heated. One of the Cingular Reps even maliciously put a password on my account what out my permission or even me knowing so I could be blocked out and not be able to login or call in to my account. I had to get a ride to a Cingular store bear by to get my password. I was so damn mad. I didn’t even call Cingular back. I would have canceled my account but I pay for my mother’s line with Cingular and I didn’t want to have her phone service jeopardized. So I told myself I would just call during the week. Fuck Cingular.

What’s next? Ronny. Monday he leaves me a voice mail saying he needs me to buy him a phone card because he ran out of minutes. I bought him minutes before but I am like, what the blood. I am broke out my ass, and he got the nerve to ask me to buy him minutes. But I am like whatever and I buy him minutes again. Now he told me during the weekend that he might not be able to come visit me Tuesday because he probably could not get it off from work. My mother calls me and asks me if I could baby sit my niece for her on Tuesday. I figure I have no classes, Ronny is not gonna come, so why not. Ronny then calls me that night and tells me he has it off now. I tell him too late now because I have to do my mother this favor and I can not cancel on my her. He gets an attitude and starts talking junk. But I fade it off and I even apologize for not confirming with him first. I tried to be the bigger person ya know. So then I tell him since I won’t see him Tuesday that on Friday if I go clubbing to NY with Farrakhan, he should meet with us there. He nags about how he has to work and he will be tired and he doesn’t want to go out. So I am like ok, cool, understandable. I say well I can go to da city like at 7 and meet him there for dinner so we could spend some time together. He was like no, he don’t want to if he only can see me for a couple hours, its not worth it. I am like, “wat the fuck, its not worth it?” I told him what do you mean not worth it, who fucking says that. That was so fucked up to say that. Then he goes and says that I SOUND LIKE I DON’T WANNA SEE HIM. I am like how can you say that when I am trying to make all kind of plans to go see you. Then he said I was talking crazy or some shit, so I told him he was pissin me off and I was gonna hang up. So we ended the phone convo.

Tuesday he doesn’t really call me. And comes to find out he used all his minutes, and I was kinda pissed off because I am the one who bought them damn minutes. When he does call I am very blah. I didn’t know what to say. His attitude sucks and I told him time and time again he needs to chill with that. He says he is like that because he got played a lot and he comes off tuff or attitudeish so people won’t take advantage of him. But to me that’s Bullshit. I been played and cheated and talked about by all my boyfriends and I never let their bad treatment on me effect how I treat someone that I am dating. Ok now is when some more homo drama comes into effect. There has been this homo dude that been AIMin me right. He seems cool and what not but right off the back I knew something was up. What was up? Well let me tell you. The dude asks about Ronny a lot and says shit like I need to be good to him and stuff. I told my boy Farrakhan, “any money bet this dude knows who Ronny is and Ronny had him AIM to get info on me.” Like do some sneaky shit to see if I say anything bad so the dude can run back and tell Ronny. Mad childish, immature, but TYPICAL FAG DRAMA. So I been playing along just to see what goes down. Like it’s so sad that the dude on AIM will OVER complimenting Ronny, and say all this good shit about him. Like so damn fake. But Tuesday night the shit hits the fan. The AIM dude again is over complimenting Ronny, supposedly doesn’t even know him but calling him sexy and all this stuff, lol. So Ronny already had me pissed off and this AIM dude is pissin me off, so I decide to make this AIM Ronny shit come to an end. The AIM dude is saying shit about Ronny being “Sexy” And I go back and tell him negative shit about Ronny. I even say that I am about to cheat on him and play him and that I am tired of him. Just random shit, so the dude could go back and tell Ronny. The dude tells me that he is going to go to Ronny page. Mind you I DID NOT give him Ronny’s page, and I do not have Ronny’s linked picture to his myspace on my page, but yet the dude manage to get to Ronny’s myspace page? Like yea how did you do that with out me telling you his page? Already the bullshit is becoming visible. So then the AIM dude tells me that he sent Ronny a message talking about “I wanna get with you and he likes Ronny, blah blah” Then the AIM dude says Ronny replied and said “no I don’t want you I have a man, blah blah.” Funny thing is, myspace has a way to see when someone is ONLINE, and yea, Ronny was not online. SO how did Ronny reply to these messages? Hmm a mystery huh? More Bullshit. So then I ask the AIM dude what was his myspace page. He said he did not have one. I said how did you see Ronny’s page since his page is private. The AIM dude said he went on his man’s page to go see. I said what is your man’s page. He said he forgot. How you forget your man’s page when you was just signed into his account. More BULL SHIT. Any money bet, Ronny was on the phone with the damn AIM Dude. But anyways. I stop talking to the AIM dude, because I had enough of his BULLSHIT.

I go to bed and wake up Wednesday morning, and sure enough I had a phone call from Ronny asking me about the messages he got from some dude he did not know and all that Bull Shit. I said, give me your user and pass so I can login to your account and see these “messages” for my self. See now he slips up. He gives me the user and pass, but wait for some odd unknown reason it doesn’t work anymore…. Yea.. BULL SHIT. So I say give me your email account password so I can request the password to your myspace get sent to your email. He gives me his yahoo pass and user and, WOW what do you know, that one does not work either. Coincidence? No BULLSHIT. So then he doesn’t even ask me about it no more. He doesn’t ask me who was the dude or why I said those things, nothing. He kinda just ignores it and avoids talking about it. He knows his ass slipped up. So I leave it alone and don’t call him out on his bullshit yett. Later that same day Farrakhan comes down to visit and stay with me because he has spring brake. So he comes and I meet him at his hotel that he will be staying at. I call Ronny and we still did not discuss the situation, he is just totally avoiding it. I tell him I want to know this myspace shit because if I find out there is some bullshit and if I find out he is the cause of it there is gonna be a serious problem. He kinda just avoids it and whatever. Wednesday like at 3 am he calls me, I send his bitch ass to voice mail. I wake up and I have a voice mail. Ronny says, “that he don’t think its working out, that I am playing games, that I am bull shit, that he thinks I am cheating on him with my boy Farrakhan.” All kind of random bullshit. He is trying to turn it all on me. So damn funny and so much the actions of a typical fagot. After that voice mail, Ronny aint shit to me. I can see he is a typical fagot, and I can see he likes to bullshit and plays games. I have no time for that and that was the last time I heard of him. We didn’t even have a real “lets end it convo.” There is no need for one. I have no words for him. After all I did for his ass, and after all the sweet and caring shit I said and did for him, he gonna go around and lie and bullshit to me, and then go ahead and turn it all on me like its my fault. I really have no words for behavior like that, I don’t have time for immature shady ass bottom fagots. And to top everything off, he told me this weekend before this BS happened, “baby I think I am starting to love you” Like how can you say you love me, then start all this BULLSHIT. Corny ass weak ass lil fag. Makes no damn sense, its so pathetic. So yea…that is so DONE WITH. I hope he has fun with them homo hoes he is gonna find next. I don’t think he is gonna find a good boyfriend like me. His lost. My gain. *pops collar*

Let’s continue with the blog. *sighs* So after all that, I had to go to class. I had an exam I had to take. I took the test and I think I did good on it. *crosses fingers* (wish me luck, I need that shit)

Friday comes and I had class in the morning. I leave Farrakhan at the computer lab on campus and go to class. Pick his ass up after class is over and I go back home. I planned to take him clubbing out to Oracle. I pick up Cliff, and Rose and we all go out. Oracle was mad fun. Like I haven’t had that much fun at Oracle in a long time. Music was bumping, they played a lot of my favorite songs. We all danced a lot and have a bomb ass time. A lot of my other friends came through, everyone was bugging, goofing around and it was a fun ass night. I even met Sophia, the lesbian Road Ruler. She was at the club, haha. But yea, good night. *smiles*

Saturday, is now in session. We get up and get dressed and we go to the Mall to get Farrakhan’s glasses fixed. We then go to New Haven to pick up Rose. Rose was of course not ready, so we go inside her crib and chill until she finishes getting ready. Now this is where more drama comes into play. So I tell Rose (and I have been telling everyone else) that Farrakhan is from Texas. See Farrakhan is from like all over the world and now lives in Texas. So to avoid having to explain Farrakhan’s living situation and tell people a synopsis of his life, I just say “he is from Texas.” Now I guess Farrakhan is overly sensitive about this and he blows up at me. Starts talking all this junk about how he is not from Texas, that why do I tell people that. Now I get pissed off. Like no this nigga is not blowing up at me. But I don’t let it get me too mad, I just dust it off and leave it alone. I take Rose and Farrakhan to the Museum because I know Farrakhan loves culture and art. We go and its mad cool, I then take them out to eat at this real cool Asian restaurant. We order our food and then this is about the time some more shit hits the fan. My mother calls me, and tells me that I have to be at her house because she is cooking for my uncle and cousin and she wants me to be there. I tell her I have plans, since I was going to take Farrakhan to the ST Patrick’s parade with Rose. My mother gets mad and talks junk then hangs up on me. Then the waitress did not even put my order in so I never get my food until like 20 mins after Rose and Farra gets there. Then Farra says something stupid that pisses me off again. So now, I am really pissed off. I am heated to the 5th fucking power. It really takes a lot to get me mad, but oh my god I was ANGERED. I ate my food and just basically shut myself off. I didn’t talk or nothing really.

Reason why I was so mad after Farra pissed me off again, was because I couldn’t believe he was actually acting that way towards me. Since the minute, no even before he got to CT to visit me, I have been going out my way to make his stay here as enjoying and fun as possible. I begged my cousin and offered him money so I could use his car so I can drive Farrakhan around for the ten days, even though I have no money at all and had to take money out that I have been saving for my car. I took my financial aid money out my account so I could have money to help pay for all the gas I would be using taking Farrakhan to all these places, and to help pay for his food. I have been driving all over CT taking him to places, to restaurants, to the mall, the club. I went and bought him drinks from da liquor store even though I didn’t want to. I have to sleep in this hotel room, with no internet, no cable, then he puts the heat on and I be SO HOT that I cant sleep, but I leave the heat on because I know he is cold. I toss and turn for hours, losing sleep waking up with sweat all over my body, but I deal with it for him. I am up mad early and stay up at night. I am so tired, stressed out with everything that’s been going on with my life. My cousin’s car is making a noise and I know the car is really getting messed up, but I don’t tell my cousin because I don’t want him to take the car back because then I wont have no way to take Farrakhan place to place. I been trying to take him places so he can have fun, and take him to meet my friends and everything. And this is the thanks I get. I am seriously going out my way, doing whatever I can to make sure he is having fun, that he is ok, and he is going to act like this. I could not fucking believe this.

After we ate the Asian food. I shut down. I didn’t hardly talk no more. I didn’t crack no jokes, nothing. This is very rare for me to be that mad that I don’t even talk. Even my friends Rose and Julius knew something was really wrong because they never see me like this. Even during my current state, I still take Farrakhan and my other friends to the movies, because I knew Farrakhan really wanted to see the movie 300. We go see the movie and the movie was actually pretty good. I am not into war movies like that but this one was really good. The cinematography of it was beautiful and there was a lot of hot scenes and good action. I then drop of Rose and Julius and go home. The ride home with Farrakhan was silent. Even when we got back to the hotel I didn’t speak to him. I am seriously pissed off and even more hurt. I can’t believe after all I have been doing for him he would act like this. Like, I swear yo, I ALWAYS do people favors, I always try to go out my way, I always try to help people out and be a good friend, and I end up regretting it half the time because I always get played in return or have to deal with some kind of bullshit. I am SO TIRED OF IT. I am tired of being there for people, and doing favors for people, and getting shit in return. Don’t no one help me. Don’t no one do favors for me. So fucking tired of it all I swear.

But I guess I will just sleep it off. Tomorrow I probably gonna wake up in a better mood, and will just dust off all this bullshit and act like nothing. Farrakhan is going to be here for another 5 days so, just gonna not let shit get to me and continue to do what I planned for us to do. But the dude seriously lost some cool points after this. But its whatever.

There is more I was going to talk about like school shit and the insurance bullshit and more Cingular drama that happened but this blog already reached 6 pages single spaced on Word. So I think I am done. This is officially the longest blog I wrote since 4 years ago when I started this website.

My life a whole fucking Greek Tragedy.

Posted by drb @ 02:23 PM CST [Link]

[Archive Index] [Main Index]